I go out on Saturday mornings... a match day tale...

I go out on Saturday mornings... a match day tale...

Now if you are not a football fan I only have the summer for reference as to how you may spend your day. As for me, it starts with Danny Baker. And if you have not heard the story of the Dundee United bow tie, made out of plywood, look no further friends...

The 13A then takes me to Norwich, from Wymondham, via every village in Norfolk. Then it’s time to pass £10 over to Ladbrookes. Pick seven games. Both teams to score. Never won. Was denied £1500 once, thanks to Wigan having no idea where the goal was.

Just before Midday its off to the Wig and Pen - a stones throw from the Law Courts and a scene, no doubt, of many “not guilty” celebrations. There will usually be a game on Sky that no one is interested in. Southampton v Everton say (feel free to insert West Brom v Bournemouth here). Can recommend the chilli chips with stilton (other pubs and bar food are available although not as good).

As two thirty approaches, its time to look lively. Past the Adam and Eve, through the gates to Cathedral Close. Then via the Wensum through the newly “home fans only” Compleat Angler to Riverside. I used to quite like the challenge of making my way from the river, through the away fans, to Prince of Wales Road. Was extremely brave once when I courted danger by wearing an NCFC engraved thumb ring, through an array of Millwall fans. Incidentally I saw a T shirt from the Indian branch of the Millwall Supporters Club. It said “no one is liking, we are not caring”...

Then it’s time to follow the “vapours” to the ground – I have a hatred of vapouring – it can be like following the Flying Scotsman – it’s the sheer arrogance of it that annoys me – to assume that the rest of us are keen to be engulfed in blackberry flavoured steam just so they can claim non smoker status. Anyway enough of that.

On the way to Carrow Rud we pass the badge man stall – I say “stall” although I am not sure that leaning a cork board against a wall would trouble the business rates department. One day I will buy one. That day has not come yet. Similarly, I have no wish to confuse anyone (particularly Millwall fans) by purchasing a “two team” scarf. Nor do I wish to buy an EDP “goodybag” (what would you do with it once in the ground?)... and as for Yellow and Green Santa Hats...

After the game we head bag to the Law Courts where the jury retires to discuss why we failed to win at home... its been a busy year for them.

By Clarki the stix

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